i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
