I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
