Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
