I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
