I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
