I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
