did you get engaged???
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
