if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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