waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
