please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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