ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
