Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
