Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
