never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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