he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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