I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
