Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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