I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
