I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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