Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
