i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
