I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
