I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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