Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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