You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
