Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
