I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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