Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
