Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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