there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
