No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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