Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
