i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Two words: nipple clamps
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