when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
