white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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