no, he came in my armpit
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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