if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
