we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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