508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is my gift to your gina
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
