remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
