do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
