My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
