The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
