Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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