fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
