You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
