OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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