pedialite and red bull = repair kit
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize