Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
