someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
