U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
